Hesitating About… Hesitating

You know how it is when you really want something, but you hesitate?  I’ve been doing that quite a bit lately.  I used to do yoga to a programme on television called  Namaste Yoga.  I loved it — 30 minutes of calm in the middle of a hectic day.  But the channel changed its line up and stopped showing the programme and I stopped doing the yoga and…  well, I’ve really missed that bit of calm.

There are other yoga programmes, I know, but I really liked this one.  Every now and again, I’ll go and have a look at the website and… hesitate.  And then, the other day, I discovered that they’d put an entire episode online, and watching that reminded me how much I’d loved it.  It’s $100 for the whole set: two seasons, 26 episodes.  It’s not much, really.  It’s one month’s membership to an actual yoga studio.  A bargain!

And yet… I find myself hesitating.  Not because I don’t want them — I do! — but because…   I don’t know.  What is it that is making me hesitate?

Whatever it is, it’s the same thing that so many women struggle with.  How many of us have snuck yarn into the house?   How many of us have stashed new skeins in ridiculous places so they won’t be spotted?  How many of us have held a skein of yarn and squished it between our fingers and felt giddy, like a kid sneaking sweets from the jar?

And here’s the thing: we shouldn’t feel that way.  We work hard for our money and, what’s more, when we do unwind, we spend our leisure time productively.  We knit and crochet.  We make hats and scarves and socks and sweaters for friends and family and charity and… ourselves.   Heck, we make Christmas gifts!  We don’t sit in front of the telly idly flicking channels (ahem!) — our hands are busy.

And we do yoga.   Or, I did yoga.  Mmmmm… maybe I’ll do yoga again..

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What is it that makes you hesitate?  And why?  Or, on the other hand, what do you never hesitate about?

(And… why am I hesitating about the yoga videos?!?  Should I get them?)